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A Mother’s Journal

Being a mother to my two children has been such an awakening and expanding experience. Anyone that’s a mother/parent will tell you that. You can never tell your kids enough how much you love them, want them to be happy, and to always follow their dreams. Or about how they’ve changed your life in profound ways—pretty heavy dinner conversation! So I decided to start a journal for my kids. Not an everyday journal about everyday things. A journal that captures those precious mom moments that happen once in a lifetime. Reflective moments that make you pause and smile. This journal will be a lifetime of mama moments, memories, wisdom, and guidance.

My thought was that my kids wouldn’t read this journal until I’ve passed on. That might change, who knows. I plan on writing in it for many years to come, documenting my A-Ha moments, enlightening conversations between my kids, their life milestones, and special events. I don’t write in it every day or every week or even every month. The journal is reserved for those moments that matter—moments that shake you or make you laugh out loud until it hurts.  This journal is a window into my essence—it’s full of deep thought and awareness. And my hope is that my children will read this journal with an open heart.

Losing my father suddenly took some time to accept, and I’m still not fully on board. Losing a parent shakes up your world. It forever changes your viewpoint on permanence. We all know we’re going to leave this physical world—but there is no death, only transition. That’s hard on us who are still here in the physical. I’d do anything to see my father one last time or hear his voice again. I’m hoping my journal will bridge that transition and hold my children with my “voice”. They can read it again and again as a way to connect with me and hopefully have more comfort in my transition.

Some may see this journal as somber but I do not. As I mentioned, there is no death, just transition. My journal celebrates life and all that I’m observing and learning as a mother and as a person on this amazing journey. I hope it deepens my relationship with my children by letting them into my thoughts and feelings in a more intimate way. I want it to be their soft place to fall when their world seems like it’s falling apart. I know something like this would’ve been amazing to have when my father passed so it confirmed that I’m on the right path.

A mother’s journal may not be for everyone, but if it resonates with you, I highly recommend it. The joy in knowing that I am gifting my kids with this journal truly inspires me to pause more. I make more time to see, to be present is all that they do, say, and feel. This may be a gift to them, but it’s really a gift to me too.

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